November 15th, 2009 by admin

Are you like the old woman who lived in a shoe, except you have so much wrapping paper that you don’t know what to do!  Wrapping paper is expensive and it takes over our craft room, extra bedroom or the dining room table when that time of year rolls around.  It’s here!

Many years ago my mother bought a huge roll of red Christmas paper. I can still see this hideous print in my head. I think she wrapped presents with it for ten years. After she died there was still some of it left! I was never so happy as to discard that paper.

I will never forget my stepfather opening a gift with his pocket knife so we could save the paper. It would take him what seemed like hours to open a present. Then he would gently fold it up. We all hated it. That is what happens when you are raised by someone who went through the great depression. They save everything: Ribbons, rubber bands, aluminum foil and plastic grocery bags. Have you ever seen a rubber band ball larger than a softball? Some things are not worth saving.

Having huge stashes of holiday paper and ribbons makes it hard on us to make a decision. We also put off messing with wrapping because there is so much mess! Then we make a bigger mess for ourselves because we put ourselves into the time crunch!

We have to get a handle on our holiday wrapping! It starts with decluttering what we have. You know those little pieces you have saved for those small presents that you never buy and those tiny strips of ribbon that are never long enough to go around anything. Let’s get out our wrapping paper stash and pare it down.

About ten years ago I came up with a theme for my Christmas wrapping. After being so tired of looking a busy gift wrapping for so many years; I decided to keep it simple! At first I used brown paper sacks and took them apart to wrap our presents. That got old when you would have to piece the paper sacks together to fix a large box. That is when I found a roll of craft paper in the shipping section of Monstor-Mart. With craft paper, all I needed was ribbon and gift tags.

I love wired ribbon! You can make a bow easily; it’s just like tying your shoes. I do one bow on top of another. It takes about ten feet of ribbon to obtain a gorgeous fluffy bow.  Now don’t get all bent out of shape over how much wired ribbon I use. It can be reused because it is so long! For the gift tags you can use last year’s Christmas cards. Just cut the cover off and write the name on the back. I bought a stamp to put “To: and From:” on the card.

I color code my presents by whose home they are going to. My daughter-in-law loves silver ribbon. Their presents get wrapped with silver and our grand children’s gifts get wrapped in Santa Ribbon or Red. Kelly likes gold! The gifts I take to the office get purple ribbons.  See how simple this can be! If you just think about it now and keep it simple

Set up a place for you to wrap presents. Put a marker, scissors or cutter, your paper, tape, gift tags and ribbons in this area. My area is right beside our extra bedroom closet. I keep the rolls of paper in an old suit bag along with an old tote bag that holds the ribbon and tools. They just hang in the closet, out of the way till I need them!

Stay on top of your wrapping. As a gift comes into your home wrap it, tag it and put it away until time to put the tree up. If you need a place to hide presents from inquiring minds; that is what your stored luggage is for! They even give us a lock. Just be sure and write down where you hide things in your Holiday Control Journal. It won’t be very funny when you find those lost presents as you are packing for your summer vacation.

November 4th, 2009 by admin

When Robert and I married 13 years ago my Grandmother told him I was bossy! Oh well you have to be known for something. I guess this is what happens when you are the oldest. My Granny started telling me to be “saving”. She had lived through the great depression, World War II and had been widowed at age 29 with two children. My mother was eight years old and her brother was six when their father died. Granny had three mouths to feed.

Granny told me this one thing that I think can help you with menu planning. She said, “Anytime you throw food into the trash from the refrigerator you have thrown money in the garbage can!” Think about dropping dollar bills down the disposal. We would never do that, yet each week we clean out our refrigerators and toss leftovers into the trash.

Now don’t take this to the extremes the way I did! I subconsciously decided that in order to not throw food in the trash we could just eat out! You may not have leftovers in your refrigerator but they could be collecting on your backside. Eating out gives us a license to over eat because we paid good money for that food! Imagine that! We already have this way of thinking in our brains; we just need to adjust that to what we have in our refrigerators, pantries and freezers.

In our “All or Nothing” way of thinking; don’t go to the other extreme by not cleaning out the refrigerator. My husband broke me of that one day when I looked up and said what are you eating?  He said, “beans! I started screaming in horror, “You can’t eat those they have been in there a month!”  Then he said with a smirk on his face, “If it is in the refrigerator it’s fair game!” I almost gagged! Needless to say he didn’t drop dead!

I am not telling you this to make you feel guilty! We have all done it. My reasons are to get your attention to what is happening in our homes because our perfectionism tells us we don’t have time. We have been told all our lives that we were lazy or stupid or both. We aren’t! We are smart creative fun-loving people who have been put down because our brains work just a little differently than the folks who raised us.

Just like we had to practice our habits to establish them, we can take the same babysteps to learn how to plan what to eat and eat what we have planned! I like to plan for leftovers while I am making my menus out for next week.

Wednesday is my soup day. I take those small amounts of things leftover to build my soup: Green beans, roast, potatoes, carrots and gravy. Add to that a can of crushed tomatoes or Rotel for spice and some more veggies and poof dinner is served. This may be the last day you ever have to toss food into the trash. We have a plan.

When I think back I have never made a soup from scratch, it has always been from leftovers. Today I am making Potato Soup because I had some leftover mashed potatoes. I made extra so that I would have them leftover. This is the fourth meal they have been used in: Mashed Potatoes with Chicken Dinner, added cheese and put them in individual casserole dishes with Pork Chops, cut a block and wrapped my meatloaf around them yesterday and today is Potato Soup. We can be creative when we make it a game. Our game is to see what we can do with our leftovers. This also saves us time because we have a plan for the food that is precooked! Our own fast food!

1st BabyStep: On Wednesday let’s clean out your refrigerator. It is SOUP DAY write in on the calendar.

2nd BabyStep: Make a list of your family’s favorite soups. Here is ours; Chili, Beef Stew, Vegetable, Split Pea, Potato, Chicken Noodle and Broccoli Cheese. I am sure you can come up with others.  Write your soups on your calendar on Wednesday.

3rd BabyStep: Plan your menus for next week around what leftovers you want in your refrigerator next Wednesday for your Soup Night!

See how simple this is. If you want a big pot of chili, make a pot of red beans and rice. Leftover red beans become the foundation to your chili. If you want Broccoli Cheese soup then buy and extra stalk of Broccoli and steam it with another meal. Chicken Noodle Soup could be roast chicken and make the broth from the leftover carcass. Split Pea starts with leftover ham. Beef Stew start with a big beef roast, potatoes, carrots and gravy. And the Veggie Soup is all the odds and ends that didn’t work with the other soups. My Granny would always keep a container in the freezer for those little smidges of corn, green beans, rice or anything else that isn’t enough by itself.

I love this! You can do it too! All it takes is starting with your Soup of the Week! Instead of making do; you plan for it! It is as easy as 1, 2, 3!

November 1st, 2009 by admin

This month’s new habit is menu planning. Now don’t go running to the closet to hide. This is quite simple when you take just a few minutes each week to do this.

First I need to explain to you why menu planning is so important to us. You can’t eat what you don’t have in the house. Just the simple act of sitting down and thinking about what to fix for the next week, then going to the grocery store and purchasing the food will give you more freedom than almost anything. This will save you time and money and put good food in your pantry. When you have nutritious food in your home you will feel better about what you and your family are eating.

With the extra cost of heating our homes and driving our cars we have to find a way to save a few bucks here and there. The easiest place to do this is with our food budgets. Oh you don’t have a budget. You have been doing whatever it takes to get food down your family’s throats. When we are in a hurry the first thing that comes to mind is the closest fast food joint or picking up the phone to order pizza once again. A little menu plan and a clean kitchen can go a long way toward feeding your family and saving money at the same time.

Now we are heading into a busy and expensive holiday season. We want to help you use your time and your money in an efficient way to feed your family and at the same time release the guilt. Menu Planning will do this.

Now I am not just talking about dinner time. We have to eat snacks, breakfasts and lunches too. This has to be in our menu planning and on our grocery list. When I first started dealing head on with my health issues, Leanne helped me to develop a pantry for feeding myself good food. We all have to do this too.

It started with the first meal of the day. I am not a breakfast person unless it is a full blown meal eaten out. I don’t feel like eating in the morning. But in order to get fuel my body I needed to have good food in my home. I have learned that I have to eat to live and I no longer live to eat. I couldn’t stave myself all day and then pig out for dinner. Leanne helped me put together a list of foods that is perpetually on my grocery list. I always have them in my refrigerator and my pantry. For me these are high protein snacky type foods; Yogurt, cottage cheese, cheese, almonds, deli ham and eggs. You have to adapt this list for your family and your dietary needs.

Then you have lunches. If you take your lunch then you will need items that can easily pack or use Leanne’s website http://SavingDinner.com to produce glorious leftovers that you co-workers will beg you for. Put these things on your perpetual grocery list. Keep your pantry and refrigerator stocked so you will not have spend extra money that we don’t have right now to eat out.

Next we have to think about what we are going to cook for the next week’s evening meals. Establish a Basic Weekly Plan and make it fun. You could use an Ethnic theme: Monday could be Italian, Tuesday Mexican, and Wednesday Chinese. You get the picture or you could use another formula: Monday chicken, Tuesday beef, Wednesday pork. Or you could mix it all up and say; Monday is ethnic day, Tuesday Crock Pot day, Wednesday Soup and Sandwiches, Thursday Leftovers, Friday Kid cook day, Saturday Picnic, Sunday Special dinner.

So you see menu planning does not have to be boring. You just need a template to do the scheduling. You can use your calendar for this too. Just pencil in what you have eaten this last week to give you something to go by. Eventually you will have a whole month penciled in!

It is time to get started working on your menus and your grocery list.  Get out your pen and paper and set your timer for 15 minutes. I am not asking you to drag out all your cookbooks, we are just working on a plan.

Are you ready to save money and feed your family by establishing this new habit? Who knows it may just help you get rid of some of that Body Clutter that is in your head! You know the “I don’t have time to cook tonight” thought that comes into your head every evening at 6:00pm.

October 27th, 2009 by admin

Today we have been very busy. It was rainy and nasty all day. We have storm warnings and when it storms, I start cooking. Beside that if we stay home to eat then we save money, stay away from flu germs and we eat good food for our bodies.

So this morning we planned our menus for the next month and that includes Thanksgiving dinner. Michele has been wanting to learn how to cook southern so she came up with meals that she wanted to learn to fix. Robert even helped us come up with ideas. We had a lot of fun. Then we made out our grocery list. I broke the list into sections just like Leanne does: Produce, meat, dairy, staples, frozen food and non-food items. This made it easier for Michele to do the shopping. This was a real team effort!

It is very hard for me to go to the grocery store. It takes hours because people know me and I have to talk to them. Michele can put her head into the list and shop without being stopped! While she was gone I cleaned out the refrigerator to make room for all the groceries. This is where we almost had a big problem. Thank goodness for Hey Tom.

Every time I begin to clean out the refrigerator I start with a sink full of hot soapy water. I did not do it today! That was because I didn’t think I needed to wash any dishes. I began to reorganize our refrigerator and wash down the shelves and drawers.

I opened up one of our crisper drawers and found a jar of yeast from 2004. I don’t keep produce in those drawers because they become slime drawers if I do. I decided that the jar of yeast even though it was old would be good for our septic system. That is when I decided to pour it down our sink drain. Boy was that a mistake!

As soon as it hit the water in the drain it became like glue! I tried running water only to have it back up! This was not pretty! Then I thought about the Hey Tom Clog Cannon!

I pumped it up and POW the clog was gone! This only took seconds. It took longer to go to the basement and get the Hey Tom Clog Cannon than it did to remove the clog! I didn’t need any help! I could do it all by myself! This felt so good to be able to fix my mistake without having to holler at Robert! It was a silly mistake and I didn’t want to tell Robert! LOL But now I am telling all of you.

I tell you because we all hate to mess up! We all make mistakes! We don’t have to be perfect and we don’t have to be scared to make a mistake. We just have to be calm and think about ways to handle the situation. It is simple when you stop and think instead of panic!

Michele got home, I put away all the groceries! Michele learned how to cook “Southern Oven Fried Chicken”, mashed potato casserole and homemade sawmill chicken gravy. We had a lovely dinner and Michele and Robert were very happy to have a home cooked meal! Dishes are done and my sink is shining! And I owe it all to the Hey Tom Clog Cannon and meal planning!

Are you ready to fly with food in the freezer and pantry?

Do you have a clog that needs to be removed so your sink can be shining too!

http://www.flylady.net/pages/flyshop_cc.asp

October 23rd, 2009 by admin

Grasshoppers and Hares? by The FlyLady, Marla Cilley

Are you stuck in “I don’t want to think about that now!” revolving door this holiday season? This is why “I can do that later” turns into the stress and panic of “what am I going to do now I only have a couple of days!” Think about the Fable of the Ant and the Grasshopper.  We may have to blend two fables together to put a little FlyLady spin on it.

The Grasshopper played all summer as he made fun of the Ant working so hard to store up food for the winter. In the fable, the Ant turned the Grasshopper away and was quite snippy about it. Well you would be fussy too if you had worked that hard and never took a break. We have to find balance and consistency in our lives to release the stress we put on ourselves from not wanting to think about something now.

We wait till the last minute to do most everything in our lives and in our homes. You run out of toilet paper and have to drop everything to go get some. Just look at the time, energy, gas and money this has cost you! You just don’t run into the grocery or any other store and come out with one item. Those stores are set up to entice you into buying other things that are not on your list.

Have you been whining or shall I say rebelling against our Holiday Cruising Missions and our Holiday Control Journal. You are determined to not think about the holidays now. We call our missions Holiday Missions not to be politically correct with all religions but to recognize that there are several holidays coming up in the next ten weeks. There is Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, Boxing Day, New Years Eve and New Years Day.

Every one of these celebrations costs money. If you don’t plan for them; then you will more than likely overspend or max out your credit cards. This puts a burden on you next year. When we wait till the last possible minute to think about something the stress of actually doing weighs us down. That stress makes us sick!

Oh you think you work better under stress but that is because you have never tried it any other way! When we have a plan and we implement that plan in babysteps; the holidays are much more enjoyable for everyone! This includes you! This year let’s put the Holiday Banshee in the attic and throw away the key.

You can do this by joining us for our Holiday Cruise! We are pretending to go on a cruise that leaves port on December 1st. We will not return home until the 21st of December. In order to enjoy this cruise we have to get all our holiday preparations done early! We have six weeks to do this. Once they are done we really don’t have to think about it again.

So let’s take the fable of the Ant & Grasshopper along with the Tortoise & Hare to make this holiday season peaceful. Slow and steady babysteps will get us there. We don’t have to push ourselves too hard and only think about the holidays and nothing else. We can enjoy the process and have a little fun along the way. Doing one mission a day can keep us on the path to peace!   Are you ready to cruise through the holidays with your Holiday Control Journal as your itinerary?

http://www.flylady.net/images/HCJ2003.pdf

October 18th, 2009 by admin

Every year we declare that this year we will be ready for the holidays and every single year we find ourselves wrapping gifts or running to the grocery at the last minute. Do you want to have a stress free holiday? I can see you affirming this with your head nods! Well it is not going to happen if you just sit and wish things could be different. It is going to take a little action on your part for you to have a peaceful Cruise through the Holiday. Are you ready to look at some simple ways to keep your life calm during the holidays?

1. Crisis Clean your home with our podcast! Clear your clutter to get ready for more stuff to come into your home and keep your home maintained with your routines.

http://budurl.com/iTunesCrisisCleaning

2. Pick up after yourself and follow our Holiday Cruising Missions.

3. Keep up with your holiday spending on: Food, decorations, food and travel. We have a FREE Holiday Control Journal for you to print out! http://www.flylady.net/images/HCJ2003.pdf

4. Stop the holiday WHINE! Commit to doing one thing eachday to prepare for the holidays.

5. Have a family meeting to discuss what traditions each member of your family loves and hates. Please listen!

6. Decorate in babysteps! Let go of your perfectionism of getting it all done at one time. Make a pleasant nightly ritual of putting one ornament on the tree or putting up one decoration.

7. Let go of the guilt and last minute stress of making “Homemade” gifts. Start now and keep it simple.

8. Plan your holiday menus now and start buying your groceries with each visit to the grocery store. This means for your holiday baking too! Cookies, cakes, breads and rolls.

9. Make a gift list of all you want to buy for. Establish an amount that you want to spend and stick to it. Start shopping now. Also think about “Clutter Free” Gifts. Gifts of time.

10. Set up a gift wrapping station. This consists of one roll of paper, tape, scissors, ribbon and a tag. Less is more.

11. Your family can’t read your mind, help them and help yourself by letting go of the Holiday Martyr. Write down what you would like for a gift and give them your list. We ask our children to do this so that we at least have some idea. All they want to do is please you.

We start our Holiday Cruising Missions tomorrow. Our goal is to be ready for the holidays by December 1st. We are pretending that we are going on a Holiday Cruise that is going to last for three weeks. If we were really going on a cruise we would have to have everything ready for our departure. By getting everything done by December 1st we are free to have fun and not be stressed out by the holidays.

Are you ready to enjoy the holidays for the first time ever?

October 18th, 2009 by admin

Today I was asked by a magazine editor if I could give one tip for having a good holiday season what would that be? The answer came so quick that I even surprised myself.

Let go of your perfectionism!

If I can talk you into letting go of your perfectionism then you can cruise through the holidays without all the stress that being a perfectionist puts on you!

I know you are looking for that perfect picture post card feeling, but let’s face it! That only happens in paintings or in the movies. I want you to allow yourself the freedom to celebrate the holiday without this undue stress.

Let’s look at how your perfectionism ruins your holidays!!!

1. You procrastinate till the last minute to do anything because you just don’t seem to have enough time to do it right or you don’t think you do! Then it really isn’t done to suit you are anyone else because it is just thrown together willie nilly! I DON’T HAVE TIME! This phrase is whiny!

2. Shopping is put off till the last minute because we have not planned our purchases and then we hit the malls looking for anything and spending what ever to get something to give. You settle because of that phrase again. I DON’T HAVE TIME!! Yes you do if you started a few weeks ago!

3. Do you see a pattern here; waiting till the last minute?  Do you know the meaning of the word Deadline? It is the point at which you have no more time. In other words; you practically kill yourself doing it, when a little each day would have helped you process things without the stress. NOW YOU REALLY DON’T HAVE TIME! But watch you put on your super woman costume and kill yourself along with the rest of the family trying to save face! This is what makes the holidays miserable!

4. Because you have waited till the last minute again to purchase items; you are faced with a marathon wrapping session. No one likes to do this and it is hard on your back. Be kind to you and do a little at a time as you come in the door. If you hear yourself
say, “I DON’T HAVE TIME RIGHT NOW!  Then just do one little package!

5. Now let’s look at decorating your home. You hear your children begging to do things and then these words come out of your mouth!! I DON’T HAVE TIME RIGHT NOW!!! They are usually said in an unkind tone because you are mad at yourself over this procrastination pressure. Do you want to know why you don’t think you have time? It is because of your perfectionism! You don’t think you have time to do it right! Decorating your home does not have to be done all at once. Break it down into smaller pieces; take babysteps to decorate your home and enjoy establishing new traditions.

When you hear those nasty words come out of your mouth: I DON’T HAVE TIME!!! I want you to set your timer for 15 minutes and do something! You do have time! We all have the same amount of time in a day and it is how we choose to use it that makes the difference. When your perfectionism clouds your thinking you forget to do just a little to make things better.

Holidays celebrated incorrectly still blesses your family! Let go of your perfectionism and the whiny excuse of I DON’T HAVE TIME and enjoy this year.

Are you ready to Cruise through the Holidays?

October 11th, 2009 by admin

I want you to think for just a minute about what you would do if you lost all your phone numbers in your phone; then add with that your schedule for the next year! This is what happened to many people last week who thought their information was safely stored on some server out there in the world someplace. I don’t know about you but I feel myself getting sick to my stomach right about now!

I know that it is not the end of the world but it sure would feel like it if I lost my datebook, phone numbers and contacts information. Do you have a routine for “ROUTINELY” backing up all your information in your phone or in your computer?

A few years ago I was a keynote speaker on the same agenda with Dr. Steven Covey. He called me to his dressing room and asked me, “What exactly do you do?”

I told him that one of the things I do is teach people how to use a calendar and once they graduate from me that they could understand his calendar system.

Calendars are funny things! If you don’t look at them they will not tell you what you need to do. Now don’t start making excuses that you have a great digital calendar. I have one of those too but my main calendar is the old fashion paper one that hangs on the wall in my bathroom. In fact we have two paper ones and two digital ones for my schedule.

Let me tell you why I have my calendar in my bathroom. It is the first thing I do every morning. I start my day there. The first thing I do each morning is the first thing everyone does when they first get up; go potty. After I take care of business I step onto my scale. That is when I post my weight to my calendar. Do you see what I have done? I have piggy backed a habit that we already have with a habit I was trying to establish. I did this five years ago when Leanne and I were writing our book, Body Clutter.

I used to use only a digital calendar called a Digital Diary, but being a Sidetracked person; I would forget to put batteries in it. Then I upgraded to a Palm Pilot and then a Palm Treo phone. That worked well for me because all my information was on my computer too. That way if I lost it, it got stolen or it broke; I had my important information backed up! Well that worked fine till I booked myself for an early morning LIVE radio interview and missed it because I had checked my calendar.

This is when I started using my bathroom calendar for everything! On interview days I would write in RED so that it would get my attention. When I would book an event I would immediately post it to my bathroom calendar and then email Michele and Nikki to put it on their calendars. Nikki uses a digital one that is on a server someplace and Michele uses a paper one that goes in her purse. Then I post it on my Palm Treo calendar on my computer.

We have a routine that twice a week we sync our calendars. On Monday when we have our weekly telephone conference with the crew and on Friday to remind me what we are up to next week. Robert has even gotten into our calendar sync since he missed a doctor’s appointment that was on only his calendar. Now it is on mine and Michele’s calendar.

Do you have your calendar backed up? Do you have a printed out list or even a hand written list of your phone numbers and addresses? Are all your eggs in one basket? Mine aren’t, but I had to learn the hard way!

http://www.flylady.net/pages/FlyShop_calendar.asp#menu

October 1st, 2009 by admin

Before we know it the holiday season will be upon us. In a few weeks will be Halloween then Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years. We love to decorate but most of the time we wear ourselves out doing it. Did you know that you don’t have to decorate your home in one single day? It seems that none of us have that kind of time anyway, so why don’t we enjoy the process and do a little every day.

One member put up a naked tree for Thanksgiving Day with just the lights on it and as each guest arrived they were given their choice of ornaments to place on its branches. Then each night after that she made a big deal out of putting on a few more decorations; they would light a candle and carefully pick out the ornament to put on the tree. Then they would turn on the lights and admire it as it blossomed before their eyes.

Now isn’t that much more fun than trying to do it all at once and letting your perfectionism take over and ruin it for everyone! Our mother made Christmas torture for us because of her perfectionism. Every icicle had to be hung just so so and this crazy tree she wanted us to help construct had no room for us in the house. We felt like it was this big monster in the living room that was about to devour us. It is probably because when we were making the tree it was her perfectionism that was the hateful part. I know you are trying to figure out what kind of tree this was; it is really hard to explain, but I will try.

Imagine a plain tree without any leaves; not an evergreen tree either: Just branches and no leaves. Then she would cut one inch strip of cotton quilt batting for us to wrap around each and every single branch; there could be no bark showing at all. This tree took over our living room. You had to turn side ways to go to the bedrooms. Then she would buy only one color of glass ball ornaments. We had to put them on the tree spaced perfectly. Then there were the icicles. This just sends me into spasms to think of this. Each one had to hang evenly over the branch and they had to be spaced one inch apart all over this tree. Do you hear the perfectionism? This was just the inside of the house and I’m not even going to talk about all the lights on the outside of the house.

So don’t allow your perfectionism to ruin the holidays for everyone in the family including you! It is not fun to feel guilty for yelling at your babies. Let of your perfectionism and find yourself FLYing to a different tune this holiday season.

A lot of our bad mouths and fussy attitudes come from feeling pressured by too much to do and not thinking that there is enough time. This is why we have developed a fun way to get ready for the holidays. We pretend that we are going on a three week cruise that sets sail on December 1st. We have to be ready for the holidays by December 1st. This gives us the freedom to enjoy the whole month of December without the procrastination we have suffered with all these years. Can you imagine not being rushed to wrap presents as you are driving to a party?

You too can Cruise through the holidays with your Holiday Control Journal. A little planning and doing will make your holidays enjoyable again! All I want you to do is spend 15 minutes a day with your Holiday Control Journal.
Downloaded your free ticket to cruise through the holidays.

http://www.flylady.net/images/HCJ2003.pdf

Are your ready to Cruise through the Holidays? We start our Holiday Cruising Missions October 19th.

September 27th, 2009 by admin

When you finally have reached the absolute bottom and you think there is no place to go, there is always two more places. You can give up entirely and be planted six feet under or you can scream out for help and start pulling yourself up!  You have a choice. The difference is you have to get mad and scream and not give up.

Anger is not a bad emotion. As women we have been taught to just take it and not explode with anger. Exploding with anger is rage and rage is not OK, but giving yourself permission that you are upset and angry is a good thing and telling the person that you are angry at. When you keep it in it is like poison.  So what do we do to ourselves? We turn anger into sad and we feel sorry for ourselves for being mistreated. Then WHAT? The anger goes to sad and then to depression. We eat to make the hurt go away or we sleep to not have to deal with what is!

It is all our perfectionism again sandwiched with that procrastination that paralyzes us into depression. I can see you all shaking your heads at me. “How can perfectionism be the foundation to my feeling bad.”  Well here is how it all fits together!

When something goes wrong in our lives and we can’t fix it; what do we do! We can’t fix it to make it right again or we can’t change the other person; we want everything back the way it was!! Do you see the perfectionism rearing its ugly head? We do everything in our power to CONTROL THE ISSUES!  And make it all better! Only to be shot down time and time again! So if we can’t do it right what do we do! We were taught to do nothing!! I wish that was all we would do, but we have to turn it inward to abuse ourselves.

When we are unable to fix things we begin to feel guilty because of our inability to make things right or perfect! We then start to beat ourselves up! It is bad enough when we have been abused by others but now we are abusing the only person that cares for you: YOU!

This is why anger is good! It is focused toward someone else and not yourself. Now it is not good to be angry all the time because you are in fight or flight mode and when you really need to scream out for help you will not be able to. Adrenalin is an amazing body chemical. It is a power surge that supplies the energy right when you need it! This is how a mother can lift a car off of a child. I have said it many times, “Too much of a good thing can be bad for you!” Try eating a whole chocolate cake!

I have a good supply of adrenalin now! At one time I was totally depleted of my resources. I used them all up by always being upset and walking on eggshells. The adrenalin kept me from feeling what was happening inside my own body. It was a drug!

So anger can free you if you use it sparingly! Focus your justified anger toward what is making you angry and not at yourself. Do what you need to do to take care of the situation. Don’t turn it inward to punish yourself when you can’t fix it! You are not responsible for anyone but you! Let go of the guilt, pain and stress and be good to
yourself by getting angry at the right person! Then let it go and get on with your life! You have a job to do! You may not know what that job is but you choose life too! And if you stick around the breeze will come your way and you will set out on your journey. Life is a journey not a destination.

So what anger have you been turning inward?